B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Occasionally, I'll realize that I have a task or errand to do that's really quite mundane.  But for some reason, rather than being totally unimportant it becomes the most important thing that has ever existed.  I am tormented!  I can't concentrate on anything until I sew on that button, or give my dog a bath, or whatever it is.

Last night I was seized by the idea that I need new pajamas.  I slipped into my current pajamas, a Christmas present from my aunt Amy, and was overcome with shame.  Amy's equally embarrassing past gifts include crocs and a pink snuggie.  I couldn't believe I had gone so long wearing such embarrassing pjs; mind you that no one ever sees me in my pajamas, save for my gay neighbors when I am too hungover to change before I take the dog out in the yard.  I think we're forgetting the point, which is PINK FLANNEL SOCK MONKEYS, PEOPLE!

The sock monkeys participating in various leisure activities has finally become too much for me to bear... or monkey.  No, let's stick with bear.  Here's hoping I can, at 24 years old, upgrade to the realm of suitable sleepwear.

An A.D.D. Singularity

I don't know what is with me today, but I have the shortest attention span.  My inability to focus is so great that I'm worried my brain has astigmatism.  So with that in mind, I bring you a list of things I have been distracted by today:

-luxury wafers
-trying to find the world's cutest puppy
-First Person Tetris
-A Softer World
-this blog
-that blog
-plus size models: the next big trend, or just fat chicks?
-Little Jersey Shore
-the circumstances of Grigori Rasputin's death, and also his sex life
-many incarnations of Scrabble

I can't even focus enough to think of all the other things that have distracted me today!  This about sums it up:
Remember Clone High? No one ever does.

Mo-mo-momonga!

My new dream in life is to own a momonga:

Look at that thing!  It may actually be the most genetically perfect animal in the world, if cuteness is the only qualification.  It's like god smushed together a pug and a squirrel and wrapped the whole thing in cotton candy and baby laughter.  If anyone knows where I can get my hands on momongas, I'll pick one up for you too.  And if anyone knows whether or not they're illegal in the U.S., save it, I don't care.

Oh cat people, you so crazy.

I saw Avatar over the weekend, and there seems to be a fairly big divide on this movie. My 2 cents: it was a decent way to spend two and a half hours.

The dialogue was for the most part uncomfortably bad, most of the characters were completely flat, and much of the acting was awful (Giovanni Ribisi, you're better than that!). But arguably, a thought-provoking plot and well-rounded story was never what this movie intended to do. They set out to make a visually stunning experience, and sure, they did that. It's certainly a testament to the imagination, technology, and money they had at their disposal.

Call me old fashioned, but at a certain point it ceases to be a cinematic feat to dazzle the audience with great CGI. A lot of the classic elements that should be the foundation of a good film fell by the wayside, and you're left with a beautiful but unsubstantial viewing experience.

Sure, go see it, and enjoy the landscapes and fantastic creatures, but don't expect much more. And if you want to see the whole xenophobia plot done right, go watch this movie!

Is there anything Nicolas Cage can't ruin?

It is impossible to underestimate how disconcerting this is: http://niccageaseveryone.blogspot.com/

Happy second day of the year!

It's a happy new year post, and it's only a day late! I'm off to a great start already.

My new year's eve involved an open bar and quite frankly more bowling than I'm used to. Celebratory antics aside, I'm gonna try the whole "resolution" thing this year. My number one so far is to be less awkward, which may seem vague, but in my case I think it's very tangible. I'll be going about my normal business and think to myself "hey, how about not being weird?" Bam, RESOLUTION'D.

So please, if you see me being awk, tell me to cut that ish out*.


*This will not apply in 10 months, when I throw my Awktoberfest party**.

**Best idea ever.